How NOT to start a band
By Sara Sheydwasser on October 3, 2025
For a little under a year, I was a bassist in a local Edmonton band. We were called Hot Anonymous, and stereotypically, we broke up. If you and your friends have ever said “let’s start a band!” here’s how NOT to do it.
1. Don’t do it with your best friend
When Hot Anonymous got together, I thought we had built a rock-solid group. I picked my best friend (at the time) to be our lead singer and guitarist. What could go wrong? Being in a band together pushed our relationship to its limits, and existing issues started to worsen. Everything culminated in a massive fallout, causing the downfall of our beloved band.
Although you should absolutely get along with your bandmates, I don’t recommend including your closest friends. Pick people you like and build a professional relationship together. This is much easier than trying to turn a long-term friendship into a business relationship, and it’ll allow you to focus on the music.
2. Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves
When you’re first starting, it’s easy to get stressed about being perfectly polished. Of course, you want to put your best foot forward, and you don’t want to disappoint the people who came to watch you play. Most of the first shows you play will have free admission and small audiences. As a newly established group, audiences won’t be familiar with your songs, so the crowd won’t notice when you mess up. The stakes are much lower than you think. Don’t stress too much about your setlist and start with a smaller set than you think you can handle.
3. Don’t take too much control
Like any relationship, being in a band is all about give and take. One member shouldn’t be solely calling the shots; everything should be discussed as a group. If you know you’re a bit of a control freak, you’ll need to learn to let things go. This was something I personally struggled with, as I tend to take the helm in a group. If one of your bandmates wants a song you don’t love on the setlist, it’s probably not worth getting in a fight over. Try and limit strain on the group by weighing whether or not a small decision is worth the potential of a big blowout.
4. Don’t forget to talk about future plans
When you start playing together, it’s easy to get caught up in the fun stuff and forget about the more mundane parts of being in a band. Before you get too established in the scene, make sure you’re all on the same page in terms of the group’s future. Do you want to record an album next year? Do you want to offer merch at every show? Is touring something you and your bandmates want to do eventually? It’s important to explore questions like these before you get into the swing of things.
At the end of the day, being in a band was one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I’ve never felt cooler than when I was on stage, and I find myself missing it a lot. If you only listen to one thing I have to say, listen to this: don’t just talk about starting a band – follow through and do it.